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Brylcreem, Dating, Demographic profile, http://www.talkexchangeradio.com/, Lenny Kravitz, Online dating service, Owen Wilson, Relationships, Stevie Nicks, www.denisetrobee.pureromance.com
What exactly does this mean? Dating up means that you are striving to date above who you are and dating down obviously means the opposite.
Think of when you were a little girl, watching Disney movies, television shows and being told we could achieve anything we wanted. I am here to give you the honest truth, when it comes to dating, dating up or dating down will never work!
Groupies rarely married the lead singer of the band, they were just booty calls. They may have been making molds of famous rocker cockers, but those Plaster Caster girls only ended up with a bunch of famous hard hard peeps while the wives ended up with the hard cash. The Disney princesses were no different. Jasmine? Believe me, the first family dinner, she was not going to invite Aladdin’s family. What an embarrassment they would have been at the dinner table when his family asked for a glass of Wild Irish Rose wine or conversation revolved around Aladdin’s latest hoodlum relative being sent out into the desert to die a horrible death.
I remember a couple of years ago when I put a post on Facebook: WANTED: A man
I listed ten different stipulations on criteria. The usual things that most of us are looking for, a few that raised a couple eye brows. I am known as the person that says what everyone else is too afraid to say. I am only 5’3″, short for a women, even shorter for a man. One of my favorite quotes is, “You need to be this tall (imagine my hand waving five inches above my head) to ride this ride (now imagine my hands going down the sides of my body).” Call it a primitive basic need, that I think a man should be taller than me, but seriously, he will get hurt in the bedroom if I can over power him. I might be small, but I am scrappy, strong and physical and leave bruises.
The BIG debate came when I posted salary a requirement that was in my own ball park. Friends thought I was completely bonkers, unrealistic and putting too much of a demand and importance on monetary value. I was called materialistic and I am quite sure the word bitch most likely passed a few mouths. I make a decent living selling Pure Romance products, I worked very hard to get where I am and I live a comfortable life style. There is no way I am dating down and going out with the guy is just getting by with his job as a clerk at the local gas station. Why? 1. he will not be able to support me, which equates to he will not feel like a man enough to date me. Even if I don’t need his financial support, a real mans basic need is to be able to support his mate. 2. I can promise you our goals in life are very different and our backgrounds. I like to go on a few trips a year, I have a comfortable retirement plan, I do I can
Does this sound snobby and pretentious? Maybe, but I also realize that I will not be going out with the Prince of Dubai, Owen Wilson or a local surgeon in my town. Face it, we don’t have the same friends, back round, education or life style. I don’t expect Lenny Kravitz to ever have the opportunity to ask me out on a date. Cold hard fact that I have come to grips with.
Now, let me talk about dating up/down in age! I recently dragged a friend of mine to a Meetup group for singles. It was advertised for over 40’s, which was my perfect age group. I had to pick up my friend at her house since she broke her foot a couple weeks ago and isn’t able to drive. I made a joke about bringing her walker so she could use it to get pity dates, she declined my offer of lugging it into my car. We pulled up to the event parking lot, a 55 year old Stevie Nicks clad women strolled passed us and I apologized to my friend for bringing her. We walked up to the glass doors, passed a women in a walker (you can’t make this shit up) peered in and again I apologized to my friend begging her for forgiveness. She gave me the pep talk, “Denise, we are here. One, two, three, open the door!”. Gasp, the median age of the crowd was 65! I am only 47 years old, this was my parents age group and all I wanted to do was get to the bar! We slithered up to the bar (as best we could with her broken foot) and for a $2.50 vodka! Yes, that is not a typo, it was at the local VFW which should have been my first red flag. While at the bar, we met three other ladies that were our same age. A sigh of relieve came over all five of us like we were long lost friends from decades ago, even though we had never met before. As we cased the joint, we knew that we were the only ones in our age group, a bond was made and we stuck together like pack of elephants not allowing any men into our matrilineality inner circle. When a man would approach, one of us would let out a roar and they would be on to the next heard. I had the preconceived notion that it was going to be a room full of Steeler jerseys and white sneakers, I was wrong. It was a room full of pinky rings, Brylcreem and orthopedics, I will admit I was very wrong. These men and women were dressed to impress and get laid that night! I have never partaken in such a spectacle of dirty dancing, bumping and grinding! When the lights flickered, we knew this was the cue for the men to take their Viagra in order to be ready to go in the next hour.
I sent a letter to the woman in charge of the event, that I appreciate her work putting together very successful singles events for the last five years, but she might want to put in the description that it’s over 50 demographics, not 40 since the median age was 65. Her reply to me was not very nice and she made it clear to me that there were in fact men in their 40’s in attendance. Yes, I don’t doubt there were a couple, maybe she needs to know the definition of the word median and demographics? If your median age is 65, it would only make sense that your demographic target is over 50 crowd, you have more people over the age of 50. You advertise for over 50 since most people are over the age of 50 only a fraction are in the 40 age group! I need to get off this crazy roller coaster, you can’t try to explain common sense and logistics to someone about age this is much older than you. They might feel like they are 45, but in fact, they are not. Again, you can’t date up or date down, even with age.
Don’t forget to listen to my Dare to Date talk show every Tuesday night at 8:00 pm
http://www.talkexchangeradio.com/